“I’ve always longed to die… I even thought of committing suicide…”
I paused and looked straight to her eyes to make it sure she’s not joking.
“Did I hear it right?” I muttered. I wondered if she’s suffering from depression.
“I’m serious!” Tears rolled down her cheeks as she confessed.
“How I wish I’ll die and my soul won’t be transferred to another creature. I want to be human again, to start all over and have a total change. I want to correct the mistakes I had…”
I was shocked! I pitied her because she didn’t know the state of the dead and that the great hope she longs for, is beyond her reach. She has a lot of time for the change as long as she lives. She just didn’t know how because of despair. I prayed hard for the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit and wisdom from the Scriptures to be channeled through me.
Her statement was striking. That young lady was really longing for the truth and a change. According to her, she’s no longer the same loving and obedient daughter as what she was before. Her parents don’t know about her rebellious vices and other forbidden practices. Our Bible studies helped her find peace and later on gave more hope to vanquish her despair.
“There’s no permanent thing in this world except CHANGE”, a maxim clearly emphasized in one of the sermons I like. But it made me think more on the kind of change the Lord longs to see in His children. What should be the motivation for change?
Praise God! The Holy Scriptures have the answers to all our questions. Here are the seeds of deception that are continually scattered in our hearts by Satan. We’re not aware of his subtle moves that often entangle us. These are in chains of DOUBT, DISTRUST, DISOBEDIENCE and DELAY. He still uses the same tactic he mastered for thousands of years, the same tactic that caused Adam and Eve to sin. How can we be so unmindful and negligent? We daily face spiritual battles unequipped.
In order to be transformed, we ought to BELIEVE and TRUST the Lord’s promises. He can perform a spiritual heart transplant. He assured that “A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you and I will take away the stony heart… I will give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26 KJV). It’s up to us to accept it by faith or ignore this free gift. It means a new mind setting and conviction.
We need to know Jesus personally for to know him is to love; to love him is to know Him. I learned that before there are two mysteries in the Bible, mystery of iniquity or how sin originated and mystery of Godliness, how God the Son (The Word) was manifested in the flesh of man to save us from our sin. But recently, it was impressed that the most mysterious reality is how Jesus works in us, transforming us daily to be restored in his lost image.
As we believe, we have to step with faith to OBEDIENCE to the will of God; like the passage of a song, “What he bids me, I will follow, where he leads me, I will go”. And as the Holy Spirit works in our hearts, convicting us of sin and leading us to repentance, we should be prompt to submit ourselves wholly, unreservedly and consistently. “But exhort one another daily, while it is called today; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. While it is said, TODAY if ye will hear his voice, HARDEN NOT your hearts…” (Hebrews 3:13, 15 KJV), don’t wait for tomorrow, because it might be too late!
In the light of the Bible, there’s spiritual death emphasized that every Christian should undergo in a daily basis. It is the death to self and sin, meaning, to do the will of God and to give up our own desires and selfish motives contrary to what he wants. This death is to the literal death that my Bible student/friend wanted.
A perfect illustration made me thrill seeing the mirthful-winged creatures fluttering all around the Butterfly Garden. It was a rewarding experience visiting Palawan and being able to see the metamorphosis on progress. How a horrible caterpillar transformed to a picturesque butterfly coming out of its cocoon made me more hopeful over God’s promises of his transforming grace. It seemed it was set free from the prison of filthiness, thus unshackled and totally changed!
I wrote this article when I was a student writer at the Adventist University of the Philippines (S.Y 2007-08). It was published in University Voice Vol.7 No.1 (journal), under the column Theo-Talk.