I was obviously dumbfounded when I learned from a friend whom I met yesterday that he had a divorce, and yet the Lord has been gracious, providing another family he has now. If you’d known him, you might not believe as well.
Out of nowhere, from paperwork discussion, our conversation shifted to personal stuff.
Ah, it sparked when I told about my hectic schedule; another wedding to attend on April 30th — my college best friend’s.
It was implied in his facial expression when he learned I don’t have a boyfriend, my auto-reply: “I don’t have a boyfriend”, when he asked when I would marry. Then he started giving unsolicited advices.
Don’t Screw It Up!
This is definitely the most profound wedding speech of a bride’s dad to his son-in-law. It wasn’t biased. It clearly showed the reality, there’s a need to cultivate and nurture: love and character. What the dad and God has done in the bride’s life is fragile; the Dad entrusted his daughter. Superbly Sweet!
Who would want to screw up?
The man whom I had conversation is a noble man, as far as I’ve known him. He loves God and his family. So when he opened up and shared, I listened intently. I’ve got a lot of unsolicited, yet very valuable advices.
“While it is true that behind every great man is a great woman, woman can break a man and break his success…In the context of marriage, man never want to change the woman but always does; woman always want to change the man but never does.”
With regards to the divorce, it was never his choice and it wasn’t sanctioned by the Lord. Divorce can never solve marital problems; it devastates lives especially the children’s. He emphasized the importance of not making decision out of emotions.
“Feminism destroys marriage. In my country (USA), 70% of divorce is filed by women, and out of those, 50% regret that they had a divorce, it’s just for pride and other reason that they can’t reconcile…”
He didn’t blame his former wife for it; he has a piece of share. “Dysfunction creates a lot of dysfunction…” and the discovery about his family background left me awestricken. Praise the Lord that there’s great hope and God is not short of His hand of grace.
“Always remember, man is more of logical being, we tend to shut off emotions when making decisions. The woman is more of emotional being. You tend to make decision based on emotion.”
I concur! Those are true and I marvel at how the Lord created man and woman differently, to compliment each other, to help each other, to nurture each other – to function as how He designed.
“For we do bear the glory of God imprinted on the image of our souls. To fall in love with someone is to be given a glimpse of the potential for the glory God put there originally. And yet we can’t be with ourselves or someone we love for long without seeing another reality equally true: That the image has been so marred in the fall and the stain of sin that sometimes, it’s a crying shame.” Pauline Rinehart, Strong Women Soft Hearts p. 152
Bring Back the Glory
What I love most of a wedding is the homily. For most of the weddings I attended, Pastor Joe Orbe Jr. officiated. I heard his messages again and again, but they seem always new.
“The most phenomenal mystery in the universe is becoming one in flesh – the mystery of the triune God in One…As you preserve each others’ individuality, you grow together as one…You have to leave your parents, and to live together as a new family…you have to cleave to each other…Always remember, separation is never a solution to problem.” ~ Joe Orbe Jr., Catimbang-Firmante Nuptials (3.25.13)
I wasn’t able to take down notes on the following wedding on March 31st. Dr. Mario Phillip was the officiating minister with Pastor Rodelio Honorica (bride’s brother). But his message is truly inspiring! It was challenging on his part to officiate a renewal of marriage vow as part of 23rd anniversary celebration. The couple’s marital experience is far more than what he and his wife had.
The couple has been dear to us, since they’re my younger brother’s godparents, our family friends. They came all the way from England for the TWO WORDS with triple celebrations. So, when I was invited to take part, I didn’t hesitate to be the singer, emcee, and coordinator with their nephew, Ivan Rex. It was a mini reunion of the Honorica family with close family friends. It was an exquisite wedding at a resort in Calamba. It was more of making great memories while the couple reminisced the 23 years of God’s continuous grace and blessings in their marriage and family. It was a foretaste of a grand family reunion in heaven, and I long for that bliss!
There was a friend who made an overseas call weeks after my late sister’s burial (Dec.2012). It was surprising, I never anticipated. It was a great catching up. ‘Twas spontaneous, he listened to me about ate’s parting ways, ect., I also listened to him, not realizing that we consumed two hours of talk already!
I appreciated his encouragements and prayers, same with his unsolicited advice. The bottom line of every relationship is ACCEPTANCE. And I agree, marriage is actually a union of two forgiven people, sinners saved by grace, and the room for acceptance should be enlarged for a lasting relationship.
I uttered when he said that he finally found the woman whom he considered to be the ONE. It was a jolly expression of my surprise. A bit silence…, then I automatically congratulated him for that. “I’m so happy for you!…”
His initial response…I can only picture his face while asking, sounded like he can’t believe. But I was really happy that time I learned the latest about him, and I will always be happy for him.
Sometimes, I wonder… but I don’t want to wander.
© 2013 LAF
Note: Photos credit to Ruth Rose, Rachel Soriano, Ivan Franz Oliver Fronda & Claro Suva. Video credit: YouTube. This blog has a copyright . The photos and article should not be used, reproduced and manipulated by any means without a written request and consent from the author.