Last, last Monday, I was stricken with mixed eureka and nostalgia when I held a yellow paper.
It showed up the time I least expected, the time I was no longer exerting effort to find it. I actually forgot about it. Thought I lost it – forever. It was the only copy, and it was the original. The feeling of finding it was beyond my description.
I laughed out loud. It wasn’t an evil laugh, it was a sincere laughter; although, it was more of self -mockery. haha!
I love soliloquy, its part of my weirdo; I rarely do it though. But much to that, I love poetry, composing ballad and parody. The latter weren’t published, nor performed even with private audience. I don’t have enough guts to do so. Writing for me is more than a therapeutic craft, it’s my life. Writing helped me survived, and through God’s grace, kept my sanity.
That yellow paper, slightly crumpled, but the cursive penmanship was neatly scribbled. At the top of that yellow paper was a bold, “YOU WERE NO LONGER THERE”.
I can vividly remember that gloomy afternoon, during our creative writing class; we were required to write a ballad as a seat work. It was so timely, and the weather set the mood; I finished the two-stanza song with two different chorus – you know, ballad with the type of melody fitted well for the theme. I could only sing and play with a guitar. But I was too shy to sing it in class. How could I? Our critic (whom others consider a terror) teacher heralded with her annoying tease: “she hasn’t moved on yet…ooucchh!” with a laugh.
For literature and art’s sake, I was able to finish it that class period. With the melancholy of the song, I wasn’t able to protest, I even laughed at the thought. She was actually right: “it’s so obvious ma’am! Ha-ha!” But it was more of inspiration, instead of desperation. Ha-ha-ha! Music does wonders!
As I beheld that yellow paper, I just laughed out loud. Yeah, with self-mockery, and with gratitude; for I realized how the feeling just turned too ironic. And no need to show-off. Ha-ha-ha! Fascinating!
Time heals. The Wounded Healer fully restored me.